Isaac’s Story

There are some children who can narrate their entire history of domestic violence through their actions.

When 4-year old Isaac came to shelter, his verbal skills were delayed, common for many young children who have witnessed domestic violence. He hit, slapped, spit, and pulled hair of all other female participants- both child and adult- as easily as waving “hi”. Isaac would frequently throw his food on the floor and yell at me to pick it up for him. None of his aggressive behaviors were done with malicious intent; rather he believed that this was normal domestic interaction.

Isaac’s mother was distraught and mortified; other families kept their children away from him and would have nothing to do with his mother. We worked closely with Isaac and his mother to develop consistent consequences for his aggressive behaviors and to help Isaac develop empathy by explaining and demonstrating our hurt feelings. We encouraged Isaac explore and identify his own feelings. Gradually, Isaac began to change his behaviors and verbalize his needs.

We had a male volunteer work with Isaac to show him that real men are kind and respectful to everyone, including women. When Isaac left our short-term emergency shelter, he no longer repeated the violence he had witnessed, had a large range of vocabulary to express his needs and his feelings, and left many many friends.